Beowulf and Godsylla

Beowulf and Godsylla

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;

Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.

Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,

Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd. Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye

Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;

Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.

Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.

Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;

Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"

Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp

Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe. "Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."

Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson

Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen

Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,

Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."

Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.

Beowulf and Godsylla

Meanwhile, back at the hall, the monster lurked;

Full of few too many drink, he was looking for a fight.

Then Hrothgar, and son of Hrothgar

Sent the awful jerk to step outside, Thud! Bash! Crash! Boom! Then the big guy

His bones broke, broke his nose off;

Wicked Godsylla fell on his ass

The monster mopped the floor with the men in the hall.

Beowulf was in the backroom was making a phone call.

Hearing the sound of ruckus said, "What the hell?"

Grabbing his shield and sharp switch blade

He stormed forth to fight the grim like. "Me," Godsylla said "Make me mince-meat."

The hero was quickly held with the half-nelson

And went flew like a Frisbee back and forth

Beowulf, belly up to the mead-hall's bar,

said, "No foe has beaten my fearsome kung-fu."

He ordered an ice-cold coca-cola, the real thing.